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Hysterectomy Recovery

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This blog post serves as a life hack on how to recover… from anything!  Share this so you too can help others recover.

OMG the fatigue.  It’s something I wasn’t aware of before I went in for my hysterectomy but 9 days Post surgery, I’m quite aware of it now.  I recognize and respect it’s my body healing but damn, I’m already exhausted just moving my fingers enough to write the first two sentences of this blog.  

The recovery has been harder… much harder than I imagined.  Granted, my surgery was not just a grab and extract kinda of surgery.  My uterus was quite stubborn. It was adhered to my bladder, pelvic floor and colon.  So this turned out to be more than a routine procedure. On top of my stubborn uterus I had adenomyosis, endometriosis and cysts that all needed special attention.  Sounds like a fancy cocktail for pain. Cheers!

So, I guess this is one reason my recovery has been so damn annoying and painful. 

It wasn’t like I went into this surgery without any preparation. Before surgery I prepared myself for recovery mentally and physically.  I kept my body pure.  I prepared and consumed foods that supported blood building and reduced toxins.  I cleaned the house.  I even had a conversation with myself on how  I was going to allow my body to do what it needs to do.  Little did I realize that subconsciously I had hidden stipulations for my recovery …. “My body was going to do what it needs but it needs to be done in 7 days after surgery.”   I gave myself a time limit.  I’m strong.  I’m healthy.  My body can do this is 7 days right? 

Wrong. As I lay in bed the morning of day 8, I mentally prepare myself for a great day.  “Le’ts do this, Erika. Let’s get up, go for a walk. Record some yoga classes for my online membership.  Create some invoices. Create content. Oh yes, it’s going down today!”

I sit up.  Feet touch the floor.  I stop just to see how I feel.  Okay, so far… good! This is IT!  Standing, standing, stand… and vomiting.  All the while a little violin is playing in the back ground!  Lol

Have you ever been excited to be forced to be still only to set up conditions for that stillness.  So is that really stillness and going with the flow? Is that really allowing your body or life to do what it needs to do naturally?  No, that’s forcing it. And if there is anything I know and I preach from experience it’s don’t freakin’ force things to happen.  

Excuse me while I swallow this dose of my own medicine.  Gulp. Tastes a bit bland like hard-headedness followed by the sour taste of stubborn.  

So this morning, I was determined to not take my pain meds until noon so I can get my poor kids out of the house and buy them a toy or something.  But after 15 minutes out, exhaustion sets in. We hit up a local coffee shop and I should have turned around and went home. But no, we shall move forward… “onward to the toy store” ye say my ego.  

At the toy store I’m pretty sure I cut in front of someone in the checkout line. However, I was too tired to turn around and apologize and give her the spot back.  I could barely lift my hand to get my wallet out of my purse. The owner of the toy store looks at this lady behind me and says, “namaste.” Namaste in a way that means… ‘just breathe, it’s okay.”  I was even too tired to tell her that the context in which she used the word, Namaste was WAY wrong and disrespectful of the word and its origins. 

So here we are back home, the boys are back on devices, I’m back on the couch.  And we are all comfortable. And this is exactly where I should be right now. I got out because of my own need to see what was going on in the world.  I was hopeful that being around other people would give me some energy. But if I would have really listened to my body, I would have stayed home because I knew deep inside I wasn’t ready.  

Lesson learned on how conditional stillness can hinder us but unconditional stillness can help us let go.  First, we have to let go of those expectations of our self and our recovery. 

  I’ll continue to do my meditations.  Light stretching. Healthy eating (with the exception of gummy bears) and letting go of expectations.  I will accept that this is my recovery. And just as the extent of the surgery was unexpected, my recovery will not be as expected.  (Ohhhh those expectations will get us every time! )

When it’s time I will pick up right where I left off and then some.  Stillness brings wisdom and clarity. And with that we create forward movement.  So in actuality stillness is movement forward.  

We need to allow our body to take the lead.  We need to give our body time to

 do what is natural in order to heal.  We need to release expectations as they always cause aversions. 

As Abraham Hicks says in my favorite healing meditation, “It’s natural that it would take some time for my body to begin to align to my improved thoughts of Well-Being. There’s no hurry about any of this.”

Thank you to my friend Shari Heftel for sharing her beautiful version of this healing meditation.  I practice this meditation while in Legs Up The Wall position.  Please comment below if you would like this healing meditation.  

 

Sometimes, Death Is Not the Ultimate Sacrifice.

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Eighteen hours after surgery and six hours of begging the Shock Trauma ICU  Doctors, they finally allowed my Mom and me too visit Dad in his ICU bed.  With hesitation, they said repeatedly, this is not the man you remember.  He looks very very different.  We braced ourselves and entered the open room full of beds, very very sick people, wires, constant beeps and the overwhelming smell of sterile plastics.

They were right, nothing could have prepared us for what we saw.  My Dad looked like a science experiment.  He was black and blue all over.  His head was swollen, his eyes were closed but huge.  The staples on his head was reminisce of the Frankenstein’s pieced together monster.  Cords invading his body everywhere, from the top of his head to his ankles.

That will forever be imprinted in my brain and on my heart.  To this day the smell of that sterile plastic or the sound a life flight helicopter paralyzes me and makes me want to vomit. 

How easy it would have been for him to just let go and move on.  But, he did not.  Fast forward 1, 2, 3, 4, …. to 15 years later.  My Hero, my Dad, is alive but needs 24/7 care.   My Dad (and Mom) do not have an easy life.  But my Dad sacrificed his quality of life for my Brother, My Mother and for Me?

How can that be?  How can such a tragedy been felt as a sacrifice?

Well, I just figured that out this year.  This discovery has helped begin the healing I’ve needed for 15 years.

I believe my Dad chose to be brought back to life that day and not move on to the next journey for a reason. I believe that he and God conspired and they made the right decision. That reason he stayed is that  he can continue to teach us much more through his life than he could have through his death.  I can imagine the struggles we have all endured are very different than we would have had if he had died.

Throughout life and as we all continue to recover through this trauma he’s taught us…

  • love has no conditions
  • love transcends even life itself.
  • patience
  • humility (y’all, I mean I have truly learned how to not give a crap about what others think, it’s quite a cool skill….. Thank you Dad! )
  • What to need of a  wonderful life partner and Father of my children.   (Kyle, this is YOU, Babe.)
  • Family
  • Forgiveness
  • Sometimes the biggest sacrifice a person can make is not death.
  • The term ‘it is what it is‘ is true but doesn’t help us heal.
  • and the list goes on.

I’ve learned we can’t force things to happen and when we do THAT’S when we struggle.  We need to listen, step back then make decisions that put us at peace.

So, why on Earth am I sending this email out during the time we celebrate our Father’s?  Because this is how I celebrate my Father.  His legacy lives with me and will continue to live on once I am gone.  I tell you this story in hopes it helps comfort you through any times of trauma, shock or dismay.

There is a lesson in every relationship, every conversation, every crappy moment and every joyous moment.

It’s right there waiting for you if you will step back and listen.

I wish you all a beautiful weekend and a Happy Father’s Day.

Erika

I Was Jealous of The Deliver Man

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I knew I was in trouble the day I realized, I was jealous of the UPS Delivery Man.

Everyday I would see him come in and out of our office as I sat at my desk working on land development negotiations for a Corporate Employer.  He would come in and say, “hello.” and maybe make small talk then quickly return to the beautiful outdoors to drive away in his wide open and airy brown truck.  Off to his next drop off.  Off to new people to meet.  Off to deliver happiness as I sat at my desk, longing to come and go as I please.

I was jealous of the Deliver Man.  So jealous in fact, it changed my life.  I found a bit of clarity in this realization BUT, that clarity created even more chaos as I knew that my direction in life was going to change.  But how?  Where do I start?  What do I do?  What’s next?  Is this right?

All the questions were flying into my mind and I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight.  It was causing anxiety.  Then, it happened.  The big accident.  In a split second because a 4 Wheeler malfunctioned with my Dad on it, my life was forever changed.  I witnessed first hand how quickly people can be taken and paths can be changed.  This accident was the spark the grew into a fire that to this day burns deep inside the pit of my core.   Life is too short to live in stress and chaos.  Life is too short to live upon a dream.  Life is too short to not be present.  Life is too short and precious to live it on Auto Pilot.

My Dad would say, “an unfortunate man lives in the past.  A sad man wants for the future.  A wise man lives now.”

This is not where my journey with Clarity Above Chaos ends.  In fact, this is where my awareness of the need for clarity begins.

The journey is not always clear and can be chaotic at times, but that doesn’t have to be our normal and nor should it be.  When we walk forward with clarity we know our passion and we live that passion every day with faith that the future will happen as it should.  That is what I want for you.

Let’s talk about how you can find that same clarity in your everyday life so you can live a happy, fulfilled and successful life.  email me: erika@modernyinster.com to schedule your free 30 min Clarity Call with me!  I look forward to talking with you!

Erika

Strength Centering Practice – Audible Practice w/ Erika

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We live in FAST times.  When life comes at us fast and we ride on that wave, we tend to revert to what is easy.  And let me tell you, it’s easy to focus on our weaknesses isn’t it? We are what we focus on and if we continue to focus on what we feel we lack, life hands us ‘less than’.

When I write ‘Less than’ I mean, the mundane, the routine, the bland, sometimes hopeless, and the feeling of a hamster in a wheel.  Working hard only to go nowhere.

Let’s turn this around and turn to our strengths to create prosperity, love, clarity, drive and PASSION!  As we walk our path forward with our work intentions around our strengths, our productivity will increase but your stress will decrease. You will find that alignment.  

But first, please take 5 minutes to slow down and join me in this Strength Centering Breathing and Meditation Practice.

Click HERE for the quick audio for a Strength Centering Practice!

If you would like more daily and weekly practices in your life, please join our community emails or texts!  

  • Sign up for emails HERE

 

FB – Live Featuring Ashley Diamond-Siegert

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I had the fun privileged to do a FB Live interview on the Tour De Perspective with Ashley Diamond-Siegert.  She’s started a thriving photography business and is on the cutting edge of a revolutionary new photography business.  That’s all I can say for now, it’s top secret, but I will tell you it’s BRILLIANT!

Ashley is a go-getter.  She’s continually growing her photography business and her Business Coaching Course in strategic and impressive ways.  And she’s always down for some real talk and a good laugh.

Today we talked about Obstacles standing in our way to achieve our dreams.  You really need to watch the video to get the full scope and it’s just a lot of fun and a ton of gold nuggets.  Grab a pen and paper to take notes.  Also, Ashley graciously provided us with an INSANELY good writing prompt sheet so you can really start to peel back the layers.  (free download, no email address needed but if you want to subscribe to this blog, you will make the 2019 ‘cool people list’ lol)

I’m not going to tell you what to do because my Mamma says I’m bossy BUT if I were you, Here is what I would to get the impact from this blog…

  1.  Subscribe below.
  2. Download The freebie —–> HERE! 
  3. watch the interview (https://youtu.be/Kp6r0w4x8wc)
  4. Comment – Get a conversation going!  That’s what this is about!
  5. Visit Ashley’s website for more great life changing tips.  I promise she’s WAY MORE than a fantastic photographer.  www.ashleysiegert.com

Below I’ve outlined 5 ways to get remove the biggest obstacle which is YOU.  In the video you will find a lot more details and experiences. (After you watch the interview head to Pod Cast 2 titled, It’s Not Them, It’s You, for more clarity and depth on this topic)

  1. Take Responsibility – You are exactly where you are supposed to be
  2. Get Clarity on Your Dream (the writing prompt’s Ashley provided can be used as a tool for this!)
  3. Be the boss of our business and not your job – mindset shift for entrepreneurs
  4. Lose your security blanket – What are you holding on to that is keeping you secure and safe?
  5. Unpack your baggage and leave what doesn’t serve you.  – Scarier done than said

This is your time to RELEASE so you can RADIATE your dream and power out into the world.  Impact others on a greater scale and bodly serve your mission!

Inertia. Friend of Foe?

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Of the three qualities found in nature (the Gunas), this morning we focused on rising above Tamas….  Inertia.  This quality is always around however sometimes it can dominate our lives.  If we are not aware of it and do nothing of it, we become extremely unbalanced and depressed.

I’d like to share a story to perhaps explain this concept a bit more. Over the past month, I’ve felt stagnant. Neither here nor there. Not so much laziness, but a feeling of poor physical and mental health. It was like walking through an old wet clay pit. I didn’t feel I was moving forward. I felt like a murky old forgotten pond. Stale.

I’ve been doing a LOT of work on myself. Purposefully moving my mind, body and energy within. I couldn’t point out what was going on with me (besides lack of sunshine!!)     

Then on 3/18 I had a major mind shift. I decided that with my business, I am no longer letting other’s drive and me just follow along. I had to let that go and begin to drive my business myself and they can come along with ME if they wanted to.

Why was I doing this? I was comfortable. I finally identified that I was allowing the program I developed at Yoga Pod to be the obstruction leading to my inertia. I was riding along with them. I was comfortable with the money I was making but I was no longer moving forward. I had done what I needed to do there and then over the last 3 months they became a security blanket.

I moved fast once I discovered this!  On that day I decided I would plan my exit strategy. Help find them a replacement over the next 6 months and move on to fully devote my self to the Yinster Community.  On 3/26 it was time and I resigned as lead Teacher and Director of Teacher Training! (still teaching classes there, but nothing more with the business)

I believe those periods of inertia or being stuck was life poking at me saying, “the door is open Erika, it’s time to walk through it, you are ready”

So long as we are aware enough to identify our stagnation and wise enough create the stillness to seek solutions, inertia will not dominate for long and we can use it as a tool in our success during our journey up!